Phuckin Phelps

It is Easter Sunday. I thought it might be fitting to talk about something religious today, but I was having a really hard time thinking of anything having to do with religion that I thought shouldn't be allowed out in public. I typically believe in the First Amendment and peoples' rights to free speech or to exercise their chosen religion. Then, it hit me!

I apologize in advance to people who are truly religious. Please know that I understand that the following is not a reflection of the way the vast majority of Christians think.

There is a "church" based out of Topeka, Kansas called Westboro Baptist Church (WB).

Its leader: Fred Phelps.

Its message: God Hates F-gs (Once again, I apologize. It makes me physically cringe to write that and I wouldn't if it weren't relevant).

This group is best known for picketing military funerals, especially those of openly gay service people. Just last year the Supreme Court of our United States ruled that they have the right to do so because they are using their freedom of expression to make their political beliefs known. I typically do not have problems with others' First Amendment rights, but this group makes my blood boil! What many people probably don't know, is that this group does not just target the funerals of military personnel. This group has stooped to new lows by picketing the funerals of civilians who have nothing to do with their hateful message.

Westboro Baptist clergy members at Bri's memorial
Photo by Candice Towell

Four years ago I walked through the February snow with frozen tears stuck to my cheeks to say a final goodbye to a dear friend of mine, Brianna Denison. A week before, Bri's body was found in a field in southern Reno, NV. A month before that, I had gotten the news that she was missing. Someone had taken her as she slept on a friend's couch.

Now, Brianna was not a member of the U.S. Military, nor was she gay. Even though she had neither of these two things in common with people Phelps' group typically targeted, many of the thousands of people who came to pay their respects to her that evening, were forced to walk by a small group of the WB minions who held signs filled with messages of hate and fear. 

Phelps' reasoning for sending his members to Bri's memorial service was crazy to say the least. WB claimed that reason for Bri's murder was punishment from God for one of their members being injured at a Reno protest months prior. He was hurt by counter protesters, and WB felt that the Reno Police Department did nothing to stop it. This, to them, meant that RPD tolerated homosexuality, therefore the entire city of Reno did, and so everyone in the city was a candidate for God's wrath. What a bunch of crap!

Shielding Angels
Photo by Candice Towell

The crazy may have fooled some people, but what this group really wanted was attention. They used the publicity from a high profile kidnapping/murder case, and a city's grief, to make the news. Congratulations, a-holes, you made the news!

Thankfully, the majority of the coverage they got was actually about the counter protest. A group called Shielding Angels (pictured right) showed up and formed a makeshift barrier between the WB members and memorial attendees. This way mourners would not have to see the disturbing signs at the end of an ordeal that was already so greatly disturbing.

To the Shielding Angels: Thank you.

To Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist "Church": 

YOU SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED OUT IN PUBLIC! 

How dare you come to funerals to promote your stupid agenda! Have some courage; don't prey on the dead and the grieving. Don't try to rationalize a senseless act committed by a sick freak by claiming that it was God's wrath, especially because you knew nothing about Bri! She was one of the most kind hearted people I have ever known, and yes, tolerant of people from all walks of life. 

My only suggestion to you nuts: If you think America is too tolerant of homosexuals and is doomed, why don't you leave?!

Perhaps a one way ticket to the the Sun?
Photo

Seriously. Just go away.

Save Your Compliment; I'll Take Cash Instead

Roommate, E: "$0 on $109!"

Me: "Wait. $0 on $109?!"

We continued on like this for a few more minutes. Same words, with a few added expletives each time.

Let me explain. My roommate, E, is a server at a place we will just call Better Than Sizzler, Too Cheap for Stark's. This was a conversation that we had this past week, and the week before, and... Actually we have this conversation far too often! The above amounts we were discussing were people's check amounts and the tip they left her, or didn't leave. NOT OK.

If you are not shocked by those figures, perhaps you are thinking, 'Maybe she didn't deserve a tip. Maybe she's a horrible server.'

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Maybe your mind went where mine did, and so I asked her, "Were you mean to them?" I know she can get a little sassy sometimes! 

"Nope!" In fact, E further explained that as she dropped the check, this group had complimented her on her "great service
!" Not just quickly or in passing, but that they had made a point to stop her and tell her what a good job she did. They then proceeded to give her NOTHING as a tip. 

To these people and anyone else who thinks it is ok to give a compliment, rather than a tip that will pay the rent, aka cash: YOU SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED OUT IN PUBLIC!

... Or anywhere for that matter. Photo credit

As someone who has worked in the restaurant industry, I can't tell you how extremely annoying the above scenario is! It's also annoying when people simply have no idea how to tip so here are a few tips (excuse the pun) if you ever dine out:

• According to itipping.com leaving between 15-20% is appropriate. You're welcome. 

I tend to go with: 15% as a "WOW, you really suck! I'd leave you nothing, but that's rude." 20% as a "Good job! Thanks!" and 20+% "You were amazing and friendly! Thank you SO much!"

• Research appropriate tipping for different countries and different situations (bars, salons, spas, hotels, etc.)

Don't forget to tip when you order to go! Yes, someone is still making your food and putting it all together for you, sometimes when they could be taking another table.

• The economy may be in a slump, but if you still dine out, the service has not changed. 

Let me repeat that, THE SERVICE HAS NOT CHANGED. Since this is true, it is not appropriate to tip less than you would have 8(ish) years ago. The people on the restaurant staff are being affected by the economy too and they probably don't wait tables for fun. 

• What I'm really trying to stay is: if you cannot afford to tip appropriately, that's sad, but you really need to live within your means so stay home and cook your own meal!

zazzle.com

I hope none of you are non tipping offenders, but if you are here's a not so fun fact: while a fairy doesn't die every time you don't tip, your server is actually paying for you to eat if you don't. Let me explain (I'm feeling like Kevin Hart right about now): Many restaurants require their servers to tip out a certain percentage of their sales, not the cash they have in their hand. This means that if you don't tip your server, your dinner check is still included in the amount that they have to tip out! 

One more thing: don't EVER snap your fingers at your server (or anyone)! That is a very quick way for your order to magically "get lost" and you to get the worst service of your life, and no one will feel bad!

In conclusion, I feel that all people should be required to work in a restaurant for at least 6 months in high school. This way, people will know what it's like and perhaps have some empathy for the people who serve them, because servers are people too. If you can't remember that, or to tip appropriately, do us all a favor and STAY HOME!